I can't sleep.

I hate it I hate it I hate it! I'm always like this. When something even remotely exciting happens to me, I start losing sleep over it. Whether it be good or bad. Whether I have a reason to lose sleep over it or not... I can't sleep!

It's 2:07am right now and for the past two hours I've been tossing and turning, just on the verge of sleep, with thoughts of white wedding dresses and dancing and yummy food and love and faces exploding with pimples and tripping down on the aisle and mocking laughter etc etc etc. It's not pleasant. I even spoke to Stewart about my tendency to do this, right before going to bed tonight. I try to be aware of it, thinking that it won't be so bad if I accept the possibility. Not the case. I pretty much "fell asleep" right away only to move right into the antsy feelings and uncomfortable images.

Thank God I'm not actually going through the motions of first dating someone again... that's always much much worse than this!

I think the only resolution to this is to watch some TV. I need to get some new images in my head. I'm sick of thinking about my own wedding. I just want to get the thought out of my head. I'm sleepy! How can I be a beautiful blushing bride if I have bags under my eyes?